you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
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