God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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