i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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