shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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