woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
