There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
