grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I am midnight drunk by noon
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
