i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
