I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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