oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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