At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Randomize
