Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Randomize
