I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
