If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Randomize
