Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
