How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
