shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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