Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I need moral support for this bender
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
