IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
