He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
