what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
