They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
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