i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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