I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
