Fuck appropriateness.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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