I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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