god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
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