am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
