So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
