i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
