Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
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