You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
