please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
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