I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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