i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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