Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
