worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
