That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
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