The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
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