Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
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