That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
