is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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