dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
