And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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