Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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