I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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