and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Randomize