All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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