question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
