all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Verdict: uncircumcised.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
