Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
