Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
