Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
