thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
