my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Randomize
