it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
