if you like me you must not know who I am
and she was petting her beer can
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
