just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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