I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
