Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
