i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I didn't shave. On purpose
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize