I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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