you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
