Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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