Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
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