areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
