I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize